Lesson 7: Apologizing
We’d only say sorry if we were in the wrong.

I can talk about the importance of apologies in Japan.

INTRODUCE

When foreigners come to Japan, they may get confused by how often Japanese people seem to apologize and the reasons they do.

PRESENT

STEP A EXPRESSIONS

Go over the first two expressions with your tutor and answer the questions. Then, guess the meaning of the third expression based on the clues provided.

    1. To be in the wrong means to be the one who did something wrong or made a mistake.

     

    You’re the one who’s in the wrong! You’re driving the wrong way down a one-way street.

     

    Q: Would you apologize even if you weren’t the one who’s in the wrong?

     

     

    2. To lose all meaning means to cease having worth or to become meaningless.

     

    After I found out my girlfriend cheated on me, the words “I love you” lost all meaning for me.

     

    Q: What advice would you give someone who feels that life has lost all meaning?

     

     

    3.                                        .

     

    As Stephen was playing with an injured ankle, he decided to take the blame for the team’s loss.

     

    Q: What do you think take the blame means?

STEP B SPEAK YOUR MIND

Sometimes you want to reword what you said to make it clearer.

    Why was Gino so upset after his presentation?

    Well, I just gave him my honest opinion. That is to say, I told him that I wasn’t at all pleased with his work.

UNDERSTAND

SPEAKING

Mamoru is having dinner with Philip, his coworker from the San Francisco office who is visiting Japan for the first time.

Mamoru:

Ah, sumimasen! Here, Phillip. He found an English menu for you.

Philip:

Thanks! But, uh, is something wrong? Why did you say sorry to him?

Mamoru:

Oh, you mean the waiter? I said sumimasen because he brought you the English menu.

Philip:

Oh, really? Interesting! I would’ve just said arigatou.

Mamoru:

Well, it’s not wrong to say that, but I think most Japanese people would say sumimasen instead.

Philip:

But why? I mean, it’s not like you did anything bad.

Mamoru:

Oh, of course not! But in Japan, apologizing isn’t just for taking the blame if something bad happens. We also apologize for causing someone extra effort, trouble, or inconvenience.

Philip:

Ah! (snaps fingers) So that’s why the woman at my hotel said sumimasen when I held the door for her yesterday. I was really confused and wondered what she was sorry for.

Mamoru:

(laughs) Right, she was just apologizing for causing you extra effort. As you’ll see at the office here, we even apologize when making a request or asking for a favor.

Philip:

But doesn’t saying sorry too many times make it lose all meaning? That is to say, if you apologize all the time, isn’t it harder to show when you’re truly sorry?

Mamoru:

Honestly, I don’t think so. It may be a cultural thing, though.

Philip:

It’s amazing how we work for the same company but our offices are so different! You don’t hear too many people apologizing at the San Francisco office. We’d only say sorry if we were in the wrong. Like Dan did when he accidentally CCed the whole office on an email to his wife.

Mamoru:

(laughs) Yeah, I heard about that.

TRIVIA

Do you know the best way to translate omatase shimashita (お待たせしました) in English? Many Japanese students will translate it as sorry to make you wait. This is not incorrect, but most native speakers prefer to say thank you for waiting instead.

PRACTICE

Replace the underlined parts with expressions from the box. Some expressions may be used more than once.

be in the wrong
lose all meaning
take the blame

1. You can say you’re sorry 100 times, but I won’t forgive you. Your words have become worthless.

 

2. Thank you for saying that you were the one who made a mistake.

 

3. Mr. Kato admitted that it was his fault.

 

4. I’m not cleaning up this mess! You’re the one who left them home alone. Clean it up yourself!

 

5. Would you be willing to accept responsibility for a mistake your teammates made?

CHALLENGE

Challenge 1

You’re having lunch with your friend who is visiting from the US. He/She has some questions about Japanese culture. Answer them.

Today's Expressions

  • be in the wrong
  • lose all meaning
  • take the blame

Speak Your Mind

  • That is to say, …

Challenge 2

What do you think? What does your tutor think? Discuss.

If Time
Allows
1

TAKING THE BLAME
2

BEING IN THE WRONG
1

TAKING THE BLAME

  1. How would you feel if someone took the blame for something that you did?
  2. Would you be willing to take the blame for someone else?
  3. Why do you think some people refuse to ever take the blame for mistakes they make?

2BEING IN THE WRONG

  1. Do you find it easy to admit when you’re in the wrong?
  2. When you’re in the wrong, what do you do?
  3. Do you always point out when someone else is in the wrong?

FEEDBACK

I can talk about the importance of apologies in Japan.

LESSON GOAL ACHIEVEMENT

  • 4
    Very Good

    Could complete the task with ease

  • 3
    Good

    Could complete the task with some clarifications

  • 2
    Fair

    Could complete the task with additional instructions

  • 1
    Poor

    Could somehow complete the task with difficulty

PERSONALIZED FEEDBACK